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[征文作品] 【岁末征文活动】【都市花丛游】(1月5日更新)

dingdajin

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2012-2-12 14:27  显示全部帖子
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故事情节开局不错，只是感觉好像有些情节推进有些太快，而H描写好像也略显单薄，当然仁者见仁智者见智，不过我认为只有前期铺垫做好了后面情节的推开才会更加顺畅，人物介绍也有些少，主人公内心描写的挣扎、变化不应太快，有个缓冲比较更接近生活，以上只是个人愚见
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